Why Your Child May Be Acting Out During Our Session + Tips And Tricks On Tackling The Session

Welcome Friends! Happy Halloween!

My Halloween costume this year is the one and only Ms. Rachel so in honor of that saint of a gal, we’re talking about kiddos today! As a mom of 2, a former peds/NICU nurse, and photographing families with young children for almost 5 years, I’ve had my fair share of experience with children.

There is truly nothing spookier than when the day of our session rolls around and your child has been acting out, refusing naps, and is just not themselves. You get to your session and they’re refusing to look at me, throwing a tantrum, and just all around not having it. There could be a few reasons why this is happening. They could just be having a rough day, or they could be picking up on very subtle stress cues that naturally occur before photo sessions. Children pick up on way more than we realize. Whether we’re stressed about wardrobe choices, weather for our session, or simply that we don’t like to be photographed, kids can pick up on it all, even when you think you’re hiding it well. Children also experience a lot of emotions and feelings during photo sessions.

Let’s chat about a few reasons why children act out during our sessions.

They’re not comfortable with someone they just met

Photo sessions are intimate. Maybe your child isn’t comfortable with one-on-one, direct conversations with a person they just met. And that is completely fine. This is very common and normal for children to feel this way. Upon first meeting me, many children avoid eye contact, turn their backs to me, bury their heads into their parents, or straight up ignore me. I promise you, I am not offended, and I don’t think they are being impolite.

How To Approach the Session If You Notice This:
In my experience, children need time to warm up. They need time to understand they’re in a safe space, with a safe person. Try not to shame them for not opening up right away. Instead, try to bridge the uncertainty with common ground. I may ask you what their interests are, what TV shows they like, or what music they like. I like to try to chat about their interests with them to establish a connection. Sometimes talking about things that interest them can really make them light up establish some trust. Children are much more likely to open up when a connection is established and parents remain calm during this process.

They feel rushed to do something that makes them uncomfortable

I notice this at a lot of sessions and it’s probably one of the biggest pieces of advice I can give - do not rush the process. I know as a parent, we have expectations for our children, and we have visions in our heads of how we want the session to pan out. When things go south, and children start exhibiting behaviors that show they’re uncomfortable, oftentimes parents are looking at their watches saying “We’re running out of time, quit doing that and do this”. A big reason I utilize 60-minute sessions is because sometimes it takes 20 minutes for children to warm up to me. Sometimes it takes 30. Sometimes 40. A secret that I don’t tell everyone- I can usually get everything I need in about 15-20 minutes during a session. If I get it, I’ll tell you. I won’t make you struggle through a 60-minute session if I got the gold in the first 15 minutes and the kids are over it. I will also tell you if I think we need to shoot more. Communication is key.

How To Approach the Session If You Notice This:
Throw yourself into the session. Go all out with the prompts. Smile. Laugh. Tickle. Be Goofy. Children open up when they see their parents become carefree. And that, my dear, is where the magic lies. Try not to be upset with them for not opening up right away, and instead concentrate on igniting the connection between someone your child is comfortable with… you!

They need to let some energy out

Kids are notorious for many things… the biggest- being huge balls of energy. I can’t tell you how many times children get to a session and bounce off the walls. New environments and new people can bring this out in kiddos. Sometimes it’s a combination of nervousness and excitement, and sometimes it’s just pure chaotic energy. Outdoor sessions are underrated for the pure fact that you can quite literally let your kids run wild without worrying about them breaking things or causing a ruckus.

How To Approach the Session If You Notice This:
No matter what type of energy it is, let them let it out (within reason, obviously). Getting that energy out usually leads to a calmer session and a happier mood for children!

they’re overstimulated

Think about it - there’s a stranger in their face with a camera, maybe playing music, with parents and sometimes siblings screaming at them to smile and do things that are new to them. Sometimes, they key to saving a session is as simple as taking a break. Breaks can be sooo key during sessions. Children can have a very small threshold to sit still and do what they're told. Taking a break, or switching things up during the session can be an amazing little reset if you’re child is overwhelmed.

How To Approach the Session If You Notice This:
Simple - give them a break. If they need to step away from me and the camera for a bit, I will never tell you no. If they’ve been doing fun prompts for a while, let’s sit and do some calm poses. There are ways to approach the situation without doing things that further escalate the situation.

they’re hungry or need changed

Small children will likely need to eat or be changed during our session. Please, please, never feel like it will be interrupting our session. I want your baby to be happy, have a full belly, and feel comfy.

How To Approach the Session If You Notice This:
Also simple - give them what they need. If they need to eat for 20 minutes, by all means, eat! I always tell my clients - you never, ever have to ask me if you can feed, change, or provide basic needs for your child during our session. Pick that baby up, and do whatcha need to do!

Obviously, these are just tips for approaching situations during our sessions, this is never meant to tell you how to parent your kiddos or excuse discipline when needed. All in all, if your children see you relaxed and enjoying this session time together, they will likely start to do the same. Maybe not right away, but eventually, they will get there.

I hope everyone has a wonderful Halloween. I hope you make the most amazing memories with your family!

xx
Kellie